Year in review: Am I Felix?
This year, I struggled with a lot of self-doubt, the title came from that. I was always asking myself if I was good enough. It impeded my progress and I’m not even sure I have a solution for it yet but I did a few things. I grew and I’m grateful for that.
Career
2021 began with a rejection letter from TalenQL, the email landed in my inbox on January 2nd
“you’re an amazing designer, however your niche is focus on the graphics design part majorly for now. Due to this, we would not be able to move forward with your application.”
That was what the letter stated as the reason for the rejection. I was very pained because I had high hopes that I would get the job since it was a “graphic designer role” but well, sh*t happens. It’s safe to say my year started on a bad note. Looking back now though, I feel the pressure to say I’m thankful for that rejection because of everything that came after but I’ll be lying if I said so, maybe if I got that job this year could have also taken a better course than it did.
In 2020, I had a daily savings plan on my Cowrywise and I was faithful to it, saved 200k Naira, aside from project targeted saving that I did on my PiggyVest. This lead to me creating a savings plan for 2021, hoping that I would be able to maintain the same momentum of saving but alas, life had other plans. I had been doing small works in 2020 and increasing my rate little by little but most of the time, I didn’t resist the price called by the clients because I didn’t want to loose them but now I was more confident—ish(Imposter syndrome is still kicking my ass) in my skill but I ran into a conundrum if I can call it that, my immediate market couldn’t pay what I was charging and those who could pay what I charged didn’t even know I exist. Hence, I was BROKE! Financial Independence in the mud. Cowrywise kept sending me “savings failed message” so much so that I had to off the notification at some point.
I was able to afford food but nothing else, kept struggling. I had wanted to take Perxels class last year, made enquiries and all of that but I wasn’t able to pay for the class—25k at the time but then Charles Njoku created a scholarship that made the money go from 25k to 20k, and Dee payed the remaining 20k. Femi and Sampam also gave me money so I had surplus to hold onto because as I said I was really struggling—I want to say thank you to all of them. Then something happened!
I had this friend that we had worked on a partnership for his company before—more of a community thingy, no design involved but he knew I was a designer. They were hiring and he sent me the links to apply that even through they were not hiring from Africa, the timezones were the same and maybe I could get in, so I applied for UI/UX and also marketing role. I got a rejection letter, I don’t actually know which role the letter was for lmao. They couldn’t settle to hire for the marketing role because the hiring manager became indisposed so they wanted a part-time designer to take care of somethings, I applied, they asked for my portfolio—I didn’t have one but I created one that evening, they were impressed and I did a contract work for them.
Stellar execution—I love layouts and grid systems obviously. They were impressed and since it was a company abroad, they asked for my day rate, omo I didn't know what to charge so I googled and divided the yearly salary I saw for in-house designers on glassdoor to what it would be daily and eventually I just said $500 and that was it, no argument—made almost 2million on the 8-day project—at the time I didn’t know how valuable my work was, speaking to Seyi later in the year he said “you charge based on the value your design will have on the business” and this has now being my mantra—value-based charging.
Got a Laptop from the money and struggled to get a gig, then I struggled to get a gig that big again but I got smaller ones, hundreds of thousands just not a million. I still didn’t save though, I stopped cooking food since February, I have been eating out and let me just say that it’s a bad idea unless you make a lot of money. Hence I made a lot of financial decisions but not saving was a terrible one and I’m definitely fixing that next year.
Twitter fleets were introduced this year and I didn’t know what to share on them, I don’t really go out so no pictures or videos, may snapchat can testify to this. I decided to start sharing mental health post from “Ruminations by 5", it’s a daily newsletter from Mentally Aware NG. I was posting it on what Twitter fleets and WhatsApp status everyday except Sundays and Saturdays. One day Victor saw one of the writing and though it was mine, I told him it wasn’t but I do write so I sent him one of my medium articles, he told me he needed a writer for African Challenger Brands and that was how I came onboard, now I work as a curator for African Challenger Brands, and I do brand research at FourthCanvas—where I have always wanted to work since I started designing.
Overall this year, I applied to over 300 jobs—257 through Linkedin, got 3 interviews and no offer. Hashnode raised my hopes with an interview but after some weeks they didn’t show for schedule and then I got a rejection letter. I’m grateful though, like really grateful because now I’m comfortable as a freelancer, I have grown in my craft and learnt to say ‘no’ more. One important lesson I have also learnt is that no matter how good of a designer I am, there are companies I can’t work at just because we don’t “fit” it could be because of style or culture and now I’m comfortable with that.
Relationships
I started making friends, I and Ifeoluwa became closer. I meet Fungai, who has been an amazing supporter and mentor. I met Akinlawon, Theo, Kilani and Praise, they have been great influences. Praise got me to fly for the first time, he bought me a plane ticket *teary emoji*. I, Feyi and some other people started going swimming every week, this really helped my social life. I’m also very thankful for Tweener who has been my companion for the time of my IT, we go swimming and to smokehouse together—no, it’s not a house where they smoke. Thankful for Damiposh—I ate a lot of cake thanks to her, Dami—my P.A, Jemimah, Akin, Bosun, Oba, Fathiu, Sharon, Temidayo and all other friends that I made this year. I’m hoping to do better as regards friendship next year. Romantic relationships didn’t come, God knows Precious tried for me, my executive assistant on women matters as we like to say lol—sticking to platonic ones in 2022. Had a lot issues with family and people who used to know “old me” but I hope we can resolve that in 2022.
I’m planning to learn how to open up more and make more deeper friendships. Honorable mention is Leye and Tipsy, thanks for your help from time to time.
All in All
I have grown this year, started the year with an HP 9480m that has bad battery and a Samsun A30s that must not die but I’m ending it with a MacBook and an iPhone 13 bought from my earnings, I’d say that’s progress. Finished my Perxels training, Uranus Traning—Thanks to Pelumi for this one. Grew in skill and now I’m in a better place than at the beginning of the year. I know next year will be better. I didn’t finish my online courses and I hope to fix that next year. I still have a lot to write especially the emotional ones but this will have to do for now.
